Dwain Walden is publisher and editor of The Moultrie Observer. Contact him at dwain.walden@gaflnews.com.

Over the past year, I’ve watched the Food Channel a lot. So much so, that my wife asked me why in the world would I want to watch someone frying hush puppies, especially since I’m currently taking high doses of steroids for a health issue. Steroids whet the appetite. No wait a minute, a whetstone is a rather slow and tedious process. That’s a bad analogy. My appetite is getting sharpened by a 110-volt bench grinder.

I don’t know if you’ve ever taken steroids or not, but if you have, then you would understand why I would be standing in the kitchen at 3 a.m. eating deviled eggs and peach cobbler.

I’m sure watching the food channel doesn’t help this issue. But this all started before the steroids. And now … well, the issue is on steroids. So far me, the plot …no, wait.. the sauce thickens!

I’ve mentioned in another column that sometimes I watch Andrew Zimmer on Bizarre Foods. And I noted that I have partaken of bizarre foods — I just didn’t know it at the time — things like fish roe,  souse meat, and fried squirrel. But that channel also explores the best Boston butts, the best pork ribs, the best hamburgers and just recently … the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Who knew that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich required skills and quality control?

I’m not hard to please when it comes to food. So when they say this city has the best barbecue or that city has the best prime rib, that’s mostly anecdotal and subjective in my book.

I once helped judge a Boston butt contest. They all tasted great. I could just have said eenie, meenie… etc. and come up with a winner. As long as you didn’t drop it in the dirt, it was a contender.

Now, I think the reason I like to watch the food channel so much is because I don’t ever know what’s going to be featured. On the other hand, I know that on that show “The Deadliest Catch” they are going to catch crabs. Every time. There’s another show, “Wicked Tuna,”  where they are going to catch tuna. Every time. And on “Alaska Bush People,” someone is either going to get chased by a bear or fall out of a boat.  And what are the Swamp People going to do? They are going to shoot alligators. There’s no chance they will hook the Loch Ness Monster nor will they grapple a Spanish treasure chest. And of course no one is going to find a Bigfoot. Every time.

The Food Channel has even given me some ideas on how to prepare wild game. For instance, I learned that if you catch fish from a lake that has a lot of tanic acid, you can soak the filets in 7-Up soft drink for a couple of hours and neutralize that strong taste.

Many yeas ago I liked to watch the Cajun Justin Wilson prepare food. I like to hear Cajuns talk, and Wilson had a particular flair. He made frying catfish look fun and tasty.  I think it had to do with the libations he added — not always to the dish. And he never quibbled over which wine went best with which food. If it tasted good with steamed cabbage, it would taste good with a chili dog.

Now 30 years ago if you had told me I would be entertained by a cooking show, I would have said you were crazy. And if you had told me back then I would buy bottled water, I would have said you were crazy.  And just a few months ago, if you had told me Donald Trump would be the GOP nominee ….

(Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)