Dean Poling

When my cell phone gets to ringing,

And my texts are ping, ping, pinging,

I dream of throwing my phone into the sea.

—-

I dream of watching it sinking

And no more longer be thinking

Who is it trying to get a hold of me?

—-

For one day when I’m retiring

My need for this thing expiring

Then I will once again set myself text free.

—-

There’ll be no texting when I’m awake

There’ll be no texting when I’m asleep.

There’ll be no texting while in the shower.

There’ll be no texting when with my kids.

There’ll be no texting in a movie.

There’ll be no texting exercising.

There’ll be no texting while reading a book.

There’ll be no texting while on a walk.

There’ll be no texting in a visit.

There’ll be no texting in the bathroom.

There’ll be no texting, no texting, no texting for me.

—-

For the line I will be crossing

Will see my pitching arm tossing

My cell phone far, far, far into the deep sea.

—-

Those texts, they can keep on talking

For I will be gone and walking

Texts are no longer ping, ping, pinging for me.

—-

For when my cell phone is sinking

Well, my brain can do some thinking

How very wonderful it will be to see …

—-

My cell phone will sink tied to a brick.

My cell phone will sink shot from cannon.

My cell phone will sink dropped from a bridge.

My cell phone will sink down with fishes.

My cell phone will sink, texts for Poseidon.

My cell phone will sink to crushing depths.

My cell phone will sink like Titanic.

My cell phone will sink like food for whales.

My cell phone will sink far far below.

My cell phone will sink as far as sink will go.

There’ll be no texting, no texting, no texting for me.

—-

And when it’s gone, I say farewell

Spoken laughter, no LOL.

My phone will no longer be a part of me.

I’ll think uninterrupted thought

About the peace I have long sought

Oh, the calm, the sweet, sweet, sweet serenity.

—-

Of course, then my boat will not start,

And I will look with sinking heart

My phone ping, ping, pinging at the bottom of the sea.

Dean Poling is executive editor with The Valdosta Daily Times and editor of The Tifton Gazette.