tom.mark@gaflnews.com



The call went out early Saturday morning in Clearwater. Lock up all pets and small children. A menace was on the loose.

The menace, a 16-foot, 180-pound Burmese python named Jake, had somehow escaped its owner’s house.

That’s right, the giant reptile was not on the lamb from the local zoo, but from somebody’s backyard. My first thought was I sure am glad I’m not that person’s next door neighbor.

I’ve never minded visiting with Earl’s dog or cat, but if I ever saw him carry a box full of giant snake into his house, I might get a little nervous, and eventually I’d probably miss his dog and cat.

I suppose I share the normal fascination with reptiles and other dangerous creatures. But when I go into the snake house at the local wild animal park, I’m glad there is a thick sheet of plexiglass to quell the impulse to reach in and scratch a big ol’ cute and cuddly boa on the nose.

Believe that if you want to. What really happens is that I don’t even tap on the glass for fear of it breaking. I don’t want to be the one responsible for the kind of panic and mayhem that I’m sure a subdivision in west Florida experienced this past weekend.

People’s choice of pets goes on the list of things that I don’t understand. Why would someone want a pet that can eat you or your other pets?

While I’m generally not afraid of animals, I do maintain a healthy respect for them. The reason is simple. As with all things in Mother Nature’s fold, animals, for the most part, are unpredictable.

When I walk into the pet store and see the parrot’s cage with the sign reading “Do Not Stick Your Fingers Inside The Cage – This Bird Might Bite You,” well brother, my fingers aren’t going anywhere near that cage. The word “might” is good enough for me.

Other warnings do not need to be as specific. When the sign at the lake reads “Danger, Alligators,” I’m staying on the shore and well away from the water. I would hate to be the subject of a gator’s after-dinner conversation – “you know, he did taste just like chicken.”

A story hit the wire last year of the man in Italy who was eaten by his pet lion, which he kept in the basement of his house. Who do these people think they are, Dr. Doolittle or Tarzan?

When interviewed, Jake’s obviously distraught owner admitted, “I’m so worried about…(brief pause)…my neighbor’s pets and their children.” For half a second I thought she was going to admit concern for her absent anaconda.

Now I can certainly relate to the love and concern one has for a family pet, specifically dogs and cats. They each have the ability to go way beyond just being companions.

But when I think about having a snake as a pet verses a dog or a cat, I wonder about the little things. Will a snake stay when you tell it stay or ride on the top of your tool box as you drive through town in your pickup? I wonder what its like to curl up on the sofa with a good book and a 180-pound boa.

Or what if your pet needs you in the middle of the night?

The cat, of course, might climb on your chest and meow until you awaken. A well trained dog might simply bark in your ear from the side of the bed.

How would a python rouse you for a drink of water or a trip to the yard? Tickle your toes with its tongue? Gently wrap himself around your neck and squeeze you awake? The very idea disturbs me beyond belief.

A snake owner told me that would never happen as they are usually locked up and secured during the night.

Right. Tell that to Jake.

When you find him.