Column: Calling anyone who can pitch for Atlanta

Published 5:00 pm Monday, July 28, 2025

“Put me in coach, I’m ready to play today.”

To be honest, I’ve never liked that John Fogerty song, which carries the title of “Centerfield” and every ballpark thinks they have the obligation to play it.

As much I detest every aspect of the tune, I can’t help but think about it in the wake of Grant Holmes’ injury over the weekend.

Holmes has already been bumped to the 60-day injured list. He joins Reynaldo Lopez, A.J. Smith-Shawver, Chris Sale and Spencer Schwellenbach, making all five opening day starters out for extended periods.

The only experienced starting pitchers Atlanta has left are Spencer Strider and Bryce Elder. Ironically Strider was not in the opening day rotation as he was recovering from last year’s internal brace surgery.

Atlanta acquired Erick Fedde from St. Louis Sunday and Carlos Carrasco Monday from the Yankees. Fedde had been designated for assignment a few days earlier.

Fedde had a good 2024. He hasn’t had a good 2025 in the least, which is why the Cards are essentially paying Atlanta to take him off their hands. Obviously no one else wanted him, even at the trade deadline. Carrasco has mostly been at AAA for New York. He can start or relieve.

Even in the recent Alex Anthopoulos years, Atlanta wouldn’t be picking at this level of scrap heap, which is the same type selections as that of an urban possum. The possum has to eat and Atlanta has to have somebody to help get them through the last two months.

Which brings me back to that Fogerty song.

I may pursue a new vocation.

Atlanta is in desperate need of pitching.

There are a few arms at AAA Gwinnett, but most are young guys without much big league experience under their belts. The Braves called up Didier Fuentes earlier this season after he showed real promise.

Fuentes got shellacked to the point that if Atlanta has any chance of keeping him a prospect they can’t throw him to the wolves again. The thought process must be the same for Hurston Waldrep and Cam Caminiti, though reports seem to indicate Waldrep could be back up soon.

So the Braves need disposable arms. People whose hopes and dreams won’t be smashed as they get rocked. That’s where I come in.

My softball days came to an end at the age of 9. I was terrible and my parents were no doubt relieved when I decided to quit playing. Gracefully, they never said a word but if they celebrated when I was out of the room, I understand completely.

Those meager skills of mine have no doubt deteriorated even more over the decades. But I’ll make an offer right now to Atlanta. Sign me. Call me up. For a very cheap amount of money I will softly toss a combination of pitches that skip or those that go over the plate as meatballs.

Somebody has to fill out these last two months. I’ll give you no chance of winning, but really, is that much worse than the last two weeks?